Bridesmaid Expectations You Need to Know
Being a bridesmaid is an honor, but it also comes with a list of responsibilities. Besides standing next to the bride on her wedding day, you also need to help her get there. Prior to saying “Yes” to the proposal, it is important that you understand all of the expectations that come with the title.
Choose and Purchase Your Bridesmaid Dress
Along with the entire bridal party, you will have to come to an agreement on the bridesmaid’s dresses. You should be considerate, however, of the brides wedding theme and color palette, and keep her preferences in mind. If you can not come to a clear consensus, consider purchasing different styles of the same colored dress. Finally, you will be expected to pay for your own dress as well as any required accessories, and day-of beauty services. This usually includes nails and hair. If something is out of your price range, you should talk to the bride one-on-one to discuss a reasonable and more affordable alternative.
Help the Bride Shop for Her Dress and Accessories
Around the same time that you are looking at or purchasing your bridesmaid’s dress, the bride will likely begin the hunt for her wedding gown. The bride should clarify or invite who she would like to attend. Once there, it is your job to help her pick out gowns and give your opinion on each one she tries on. Be careful not to overwhelm her or sway her decision with your own preferences. It is still her wedding and her feelings come first. Instead, make suggestions or offer alternative solutions. Try to stay away from standalone negative remarks and aim to be constructive.
Help Plan and Pay for the Bride’s Bachelorette Party
The most exciting part of being a bridesmaid is undoubtedly the bachelorette party. While the role of party planner is ultimately that of the maid of honor, all of the bridesmaids should be pitching in on ideas and performing any necessary research. This could include comparing costs of hotels or flights, researching potential destinations or rounding up supplies. All in all, you should be a team player and think of what the bride wants rather than your own experience. You may have to embark on an adventure you aren’t completely interested in, but if your heart is in the right place then you will hop to it with gritted teeth because that’s what girlfriends do.
Attend All Pre-Wedding Events
Unless you have serious prior engagements or encounter an emergency, it is your responsibility to attend all of the pre-wedding events. This includes, but is not limited to, the engagement party, bridal shower, bachelorette party, wedding rehearsal, and rehearsal dinner. Not only will you have to attend these events, but it may fall on you to plan them. You should speak with the maid of honor and the bride’s mother or mother in law, to see if and when they may need help.
Help the Bride with Her Wedding Planning
Depending on your bride, you may or may not be called on to assist with the wedding planning process. This might include running errands, helping her make bookings, and day-of set up or tear down. Most commonly you will simply need to assist her in making decisions. In this case, offer your opinion, but with the bride’s best interest in mind – and do so kindly. It’s okay if you dislike something or want to offer an alternative, but there is no need to drag the bride down in the process. Instead, give your take and why, then allow her to have the final say.
Pay for Your Own Transportation and Accommodations
The expectation is that you will pay for your own portion of the bachelorette party and part of the bride’s. Typically the cost is split amongst all of the bridesmaids. However, before anyone even starts looking up destinations or activities, everyone should get together and come to an agreement on a budget. This will help ensure that everyone can both afford and enjoy the trip without guilt. Additionally, you will need to pay for your own transportation and accommodation the night of the wedding. Usually other bridesmaids will be in the same boat, and you will be able to carpool and/or share rooms to save a bit of moolah.
Gift a Shower and Wedding Gift
Even if the bride says otherwise, it is etiquette to give a gift at both the shower and wedding. This is not to say it needs to be something costly. If your budget only allows a gift card or a small item off of the couple’s registry, so be it. It is the thought that counts and the bride will be appreciative that you were still willing to contribute.
Give a Toast
The least enjoyable expectation for many bridesmaid is the potential that they may have to give a toast. While you may hate it, do the bride a solid and do it well. It feels incredibly lackluster when a supposed best friend of the bride gets up and says one line. You don’t need to write an essay to get your feelings across, but put some time and energy into it. Just make sure you check in with the bride in advance, to see if any topics or stories are off limits.
When you choose Pine Lake Ranch, you and your gals are guaranteed to have a grand time come the big day. Our wedding packages include the use of our 1500 square foot Bridal House. Just one of the stops on a tour of our property, it has been recently renovated and outfitted with all of the comforts you could want. Relax as you get dressed for the day, and make memories that will last a lifetime. We hope you will contact us to learn why Pine Lake Ranch is a preferred wedding venue.